| ARTICLE
With 11 children, couple discovers fullness of joy within one very ...
Full House
Published: Tuesday, October 18, 2005
RAY WESTBROOK
AVALANCHE-JOURNAL
In the Joel and Betsy Tardy family, order reigns where chaos could easily
prevail.
Jim Watkins / Staff Kasey Tardy, 3, and her father, Joel Tardy, share a moment
of animated communication. Order a print
The Lubbock couple is in various stages of raising, or having raised, 11
children.
A family of that size has to function like a well-oiled machine, and the Tardys
have developed the management skills and a time schedule necessary to handle the
job.
Jim Watkins / Staff
Kasey Tardy, 3, and her father, Joel Tardy, share a moment of animated
communication.
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The scope of the logistics alone can be glimpsed by the grocery bill: It takes
14 gallons of milk a week to keep the family supplied.
They began with a two-bedroom, two-bath home when there were only three children
to care for. Now, the house has been expanded to seven bedrooms and four baths,
with a fifth under construction.
The entire family is up by 6:30 a.m. each day, and dressed and ready for
breakfast by 7 a.m.
The Tardys have known adversity and a deep sense of fulfillment in their family
adventure.
"Joel was married to Angie Collins, and she was one of my closest friends
through college," Betsy said.
During the marriage, sons David, Kirk and Evan were born.
"When the boys were 2, 4 and 7, Angie died of melanoma cancer," Betsy said.
"I was 31 at the time she died ... and thinking I was never going to get to be a
wife and mother."
Two years later, Joel and Betsy married, and the family became a home again.
The family has increased from three children to 11 by the addition of six born
to Joel and Betsy, plus two they adopted. Ages of the 11 range from 2 to 24. Two
are married and have homes of their own, and one is living away while attending
school at South Plains College.
That leaves eight children living at home.
"Sometimes it does get heavy," Joel said, "but it is something we have wanted to
do."
The Tardys have expanded their family in part, Joel said, "to be able to help
some of these children who maybe would not have had a place to go. It's worth
whatever trouble we have to go through."
Betsy added, "I feel like the question is not, do I need more children, but, is
there a child who needs my home - the home I can give?"
She said sometimes she is asked why they adopted two children when they had
several already.
An answer may be seen in their biblically-based faith, along with some of its
results.
"Our faith is a very important thing," Betsy said.
Jim Watkins / Staff
Betsy Tardy offers her son Caleb, 2, a chance to enjoy one of the snacks that
can provide an added bit of fun in an active family that has 11 children.
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"Joel and I both, before we were married, felt like God had given us a desire
for adoption. And Joel, even when he was a single dad with three boys, had that
desire as a single dad to give a home to children who needed it.
"We had that in common when we got married, but went along for several years
without having a lull in having our own," she explained.
Then, came Cameron.
While they were attending a service at Melonie Park Church, they heard of
Cameron.
"His second-grade teacher was a friend of ours at church. She came to church on
the Sunday before Labor Day six years ago and had a prayer request for this
little boy in her class," Betsy said.
"His mom had died when he was in kindergarten, and he hadn't had a father. The
only person willing and available to take him was his 85-year-old
great-grandmother. So, he had lived with her for 18 months. Then that had
reached a crisis level, and he was getting ready to go into foster care.
"It was like God just spoke and said Cameron was for us. Two weeks later, he
moved in and we finalized the adoption the following year."
Tardy family
Joel Tardy - Manager of Culligan Water Conditioning.
Betsy Tardy - Formerly a nurse, now full-time mother and homemaker.
Daniel, 24 - Married to Emily, employed by Dave Ramsey Financial, Nashville,
Tenn.
Kirk, 21 - Married to Andrea, employed as a Realtor with Coldwell Banker,
Lubbock.
Evan, 18 - Student at South Plains College.
Cameron, 13 - Plays basketball and learning guitar.
Kristi, 13 - Studying dance, including tap, ballet and jazz.
Breanna, 12 - Focusing on gymnastics.
David, 10 - Concentrates on soccer.
Emily, 8 - Practicing gymnastics.
Joelie, 6 - Learning gymnastics.
Kasey, 3 - Likes dolls and gymnastics.
Caleb, 2 - Enjoys Cheetos snacks.
It was a home and family for Cameron, but the benefits have flowed both ways.
The Tardys would be spread too thin by the responsibilities they carry without
help from individuals within the family.
"We are very dependent on child labor around here," Betsy said with a smile.
"They are very capable, and they help a whole bunch," she said of Cameron 13,
Kristi 13, and Breanna 12.
"These three are just so good with the little ones," she said. "Cameron can
bathe the baby and get him ready for bed, and feed him - that's from an
eighth-grade boy.
"I feel like we do require a lot of our children, as far as helping around the
house and helping each other, and feel like that ultimately is really a positive
thing as far as developing their character."
How does Cameron feel about living with a lot of brothers and sisters?
"It's pretty chaotic sometimes," he said jokingly. "But you're never bored."
He plays basketball and is honing some musical skills with a guitar.
One of the Tardys' children by birth, Kasey, 3, has Down's syndrome.
That experience led to the adoption of Caleb, now almost 2, who also has Down's
syndrome.
Betsy said one of a parent's biggest fears is to have a child with that kind of
difficulty.
"Yet from the minute she arrived, this biggest fear has been one of the biggest
blessings to our family," she said. "And just realizing how precious she was,
and just how much potential she has, is what led us to feel like we could help
another child in that same situation."
The Tardys' schedule includes taking each child to schools and places of special
interest, such as soccer, dance lessons and gymnastics.
"All of them have something," Joel said. "We try to encourage them to
participate in things. So, every semester we kind of start over and see what
everybody is interested in and what they are going to do."
They also take vacations as a family.
"Last year we went to Red River and had the younger eight with us in a cabin,"
Joel said. "I like to take them camping in a tent occasionally when I can - but
not all of them at the same time."
Joel's mother, Nancy Tardy, also has observed the activities provided by the
parents for the children.
"I cannot imagine anyone doing any better than they have done," she said.
"Everything I see as far as all the different activities they involve the family
in as a family unit, and the children in individually - it's astounding."
The Tardys also have plans for their children for the future, and they involve
two hopes:
"By the time they leave our home," Betsy said, "we would like for them to feel
like they have no limitations - and that they were equipped and capable of
pursuing whatever they thought God was leading them to do."
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